by GSCA Member, Jackie Simmons

(See Chapter 1 here)

Continuing on the topic of Relationship Selling and how not to become salesy in the process, here’s Chapter Two of “The Non-Salesy Sales Guide: Building a Relationship”:

Relationships are built, often over time and sometimes instantaneously. 

I believe that the best way to build a solid relationship is with positive expectations.

Have you ever heard someone say that they knew a relationship wasn’t going anywhere and then they stayed in it anyway?

What was the outcome? Didn’t they get what they expected?

Here are four positive relationship expectations I’ve found useful: 

  • Expect other people to be interesting. This helps me stay curious about who they are, what they do, why they do it, what they want, etc..
  • Expect other people to be interested in their own thing, often to the exclusion of all else. This helps me be patient before sharing anything about myself.
  • Expect other people to be inspired by your ability to listen and ask questions. This is because being heard is a basic human need and we live in a day and age of distractibility that often prevents us from being present enough to hear what others are saying.
  • Expect that some of these other people will be so inspired that they will accept your invitation to move forward together in the direction of their dreams and goals.

Did you notice that these expectations help you to get to know, like, and trust the other person? I believe that getting to know, like, and trust other people is critically important to them wanting to buy from you. 

It’s second only to you getting to know, like, and trust YOU. 

Common knowledge states that people only buy from those they know, like, and trust. What I’ve found is that the opposite is true. I’ve noticed that people tend to buy from those who know, like, and trust themselves and their solutions.

Isn’t it true that you notice and are attracted to someone who’s confident in who they are and certain that what they do has value?

This means that counter-intuitively, the fastest path to building relationships with other people is to get to know, like, and trust yourself more.

I use a deep-dive assessment to build my ability to know, like and trust myself during many of the workshops I lead. Here’s a quick way you can get started building yours. Enjoy! You are absolutely worth getting to know.

  1. Write down 10 of your favorite things. 
    • What do you like about them?
    • What can you discern about what you value from what you like about them?
  2. Write down five things you really like and appreciate about yourself.
    • How many are characteristics? How many are skills?
    • What can you discern about what you value from the ratio of characteristics to skills?
  3. Write down five things you consistently do that are good for you or your business.
    • How many are personal? How many are business?
    • What can you discern about what you value from the ration of personal to business?

Can you see how building relationships with other people gets easier when you start from having a strong, appreciative relationship with yourself?

Thank you for what you do and just for being you.

What you do is important and who you are is amazing!