by GSCA Member, Cecily Sharp-Whitehill
“I’m sorry.” I did or said something not-so-good. Did confess. Didn’t defend. Stopped some ratcheting up of anger, accusation, tendrils of frustration… Relief all around.
“I need help.” Different from directly asking for it. How come? The other person gets to totally decide both the “if” and the “how.” Your need for help gives the other the power of choice. It gives you release from control — and openness to wisdom.
“I was wrong.” The way you were wrong and the why don’t matter now. Self-justifying self-righteousness is released. The point is both people are no longer emotionally or conversationally stuck. Moving forward is now bigger than possible.
“I don’t know.” Yes, you sound more than unsure. And also, yes, you are inviting the other to offer you some knowing — more knowing than you’ve had till now. Solutions to puzzlements happen this way. And nobody loses.